urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly Nick Nick 2004-12-20T16:53:30Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:63042 2004-12-20T16:25:38Z 2004-12-20T16:53:30Z ALL I NEED IS ONE LIFE, ONE TRY, ONE BREATH I'M ONE MAN<br />WHAT I STAND FOR SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND<br />Or wanna see me on top, too egotistical<br />Talkin all that slick shit, THE SAME WAY THESE BITCHES DO!<br />Wonder what my secrets is? niggaz'll move on you<br />only if they know, what your weakness is, I HAVE NONE!<br />Too late to grab guns, I'm blastin cause I'm a cool nigga.<br />Thought I wouldn't have that ass done? Fooled you niggaz.<br />What you call a infinite brawl, eternal souls clashin,<br />War gets deep, SOME BEEF IS EVERLASTING!<br />Complete with thick scars, brothers knifin each other<br />up in prison yards, drama, where does it start?<br /><br />We the strongest hood but its the BITCHES that kill it!<br /><br /><br />I've been fucked over, left for dead, dissed and fogotten <br />Luck ran out, they hoped that I'd be gone, stiff and rotten <br />Y'all just piss on me, shit on me, spit on my grave<br />Talk about me, laugh behind my back but in my face <br />Y'all some "well wishers," friendly actin, ENVY HIDIN SNAKES!<br /><br /><br />I'm scared of this rage so I gotta write.<br />As soon as I opened eyes and realized,<br />every bitch act got me tight...Fuck!<br />I NEED a fight, so what, I'm white and hype.<br />So if you got an issue with me, bring it to my face,<br />Buncha pussies! Disgrace....I...Will...Not...Lose urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:62754 2004-09-23T19:10:14Z 2004-09-23T19:10:14Z Atreyu - The Remembrance Ballad As everyone knows, everything good must have their endings, so this is where one of my endings takes place. This journal contains a lot of my teenage year memories, but most of all, it revolves around 2 girls.....2 girls = 2 years = a waste of fuckin time, lol. Nah, it wasn't all a waste of time, they made me a better person, and I'm thankful for it.....Anyway, hopefully maybe one day I'll remember it when I'm like 30 or something, ya know? I'll open it up and read every fuckin page. I know I would....Yeah, so this is the closure of my heart for the past 2 years, where I ran to when I needed someone and nobody was around....I really wanna say thanks to those some people that have been there for me in this journal, and that this journey really showed me where my friends are.....Before I get all sobby, lol, I just wanna end on a good note.....Too bad I can't think of a really good quote to end my last entry, haha, its not like me.....Anyway, its been fun....But I'm steppin out. This was every feeling from my heart, recorded in a journal, but now its time, to close it...<br /><br /><br />Live Everyday, As if it's Your Last...<br /><br /> - Nick urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:62607 2004-09-21T04:47:04Z 2004-09-21T04:47:04Z Its like yo, I really wanna be her friend still cause we used to be mad cool. I was really thinkin about it today and with everything we did. It sucks that this had to kill all of that. She still doesn't understand that I feel for her, and always will, but it goes over her head all the time. I guess what I'm tryin to say is that I loved what we had, it was something that I never had with another girl, and I realized that today. All those stupid games we played were dumb, and it wasn't needed at all...Today was a very reminisent day for me, and it kinda got to me. Sometimes I'll be good, but then those other times get me, when I start to think and remember everything. I write songs with just plain out memories in them, its as plain out as you can be really....I'd love for her to call me one day and just wanna talk to me, but I shouldn't fight alone. Thats where it ends......Every word was meant. No feelings lost, none gained, but still true......I'm not one to turn around and forget.<br /><br /><br />Regret me all you want, But please don't forget me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:62434 2004-09-20T04:53:11Z 2004-09-20T04:53:11Z So when are you gonna realize that it doesn't bother me at all? Lmao...Me and Mike just chilled from like 10 to 12:30 in my car just fuckin bullshittin. I wished him a happy birthday at 12. I got Tony too, and I need to call Lucy later today. Me and Mike met up with Joesephine for like 10 minutes, but the rest of the time was histerical. I chilled at Joe's house before that, smoked mad Ls, played Socom on PS2....Got to wear my leather coat today, the smell reminded me of Italy. Found out I still got a recording of Lauren snoring into my phone, lol....Me and Mike were fuckin around with that too, lol.....Anyway, it was a great weekend, but everyday now is like a weekend to me. Thats why college kicks ass, fucked up every night....I don't really remember too much of the weekend anyway, I don't know what falls into what days, ya know? So thats gonna be my concluding sentence....Later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:62186 2004-09-18T06:11:29Z 2004-09-18T06:11:29Z Crazy shit, mad crazy shit thats goin down. I'm too fucked up to explain anything. Drinkin is great, I forgot....Haha urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:61910 2004-09-13T05:05:31Z 2004-09-13T05:05:31Z Genuine - Differences OMG, smokefest 2004 just took place last night, on september 11th. It was Joe's brother's birthday so they had like 8 drug dealers at Joe's sister's house. It was like blunt after blunt, maybe like 12 of them....It was like, once one went around, another one was being rolled...I was so toasted trying to watch the little rascals, lol....Anyway, after that I smoked a blunt with my friend Erica, we caught up a little, it was cool. Talked about some serious shit, but it was cool. After that, at like 2 in the morning I went to meet up with Brendon at his brother's house and got drunk. I was so fucked up, it was horrible. We had a great fuckin time at Collin's house, it was great. So twisted tryin to play chess, haha....Anyway, tonight I got fucked up too. Little from both worlds, haha....Erica called me tonight and told me she was gonna light me up tomorrow or tuesday, so thats good. I'm gonna teach her how to roll, cause she doesn't know how and it bothers me....Anyway, great fuckin weekend, and long....Me and Brendon chilled and got drunk at my house the other night when my parents were gone for a night. We were callin up mad people at like 3 in the morning but it was dead. We got drunk and passed out, he crashed here, it was cool....Anyway, need my rest cause I got some homework to do inbetween classes tomorrow and I got a long day of classes ahead of me so I'm gonna be out people....Later urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:61555 2004-09-10T04:07:06Z 2004-09-10T04:09:21Z Shyne - More or Less Today was pretty interesting, cause my mom had my car all day till 9. So I took the bus to CC today and walked to Mama's. Ran into Shorty and Eddie and copped some and blew it down at the old steps. Mad long time ago....I kept some for myself. We chilled at 14 for awhile when it rained, then went to Mike's by myself....On the way there I ran into a really old friend that I haven't seen in like 5 years. Erica, one of my brother's ex girlfriends from back in the day, damn....But she was really cool, she remembered me, I remembered her, we talked about a lot of shit. Alittle of exchanging numbers, shes 21 so she could get me liquor so thats cool. She said she'll probably hit me up to smoke a blunt so thats mad cool. I think she sounded alittle upset when I told her I was 17, haha, but she said I look good and got some muscles, lol....She remembers me when I was like 5 feet tall, heheh....Anyway, ran into Keegan and Joe and we caught a session with my little bit from before, haha....It was mad funny when it happened, they just walked up the block and saw me chillin, I was like wtf? It was great, chilled with Mike and Bobby later, then bounced....I'm out, later peeps<br /><br />Cause everytime I write a rhyme<br />These bitches think its a crime<br />To tell em whats on my mind<br />I don't gotta say a word<br />Just flip em the bird, keep movin<br />I don't take shit from no one urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:61388 2004-09-08T05:10:15Z 2004-09-08T05:12:32Z College is the shit. I copped a little this morning and did my thing on the way up there and fuckin went to my first class to see Amit chillin, haha....He was in my first class, with Andrew the bassist. Then my second class a kid from my high school was in, Danny Sanchez, haha....It was mad cool, that class was 3 hours long though. He gave us a break, so I had a bogie and a drink. Its seriously mad chill up there. So many familiar faces and so many hot ones (So much hotter than you ; ).....I saw Albanian Johnny at the end of my second class, than I came home at 5:30 and met up with Joe. Had a face L, then got Josephine, Angela and Mike. We all chilled, then people bounced....I chilled with Eric for a little while, then Joshepine called me back to chill, so we blew one down....That was mad cool, we need to do that again soon cause I don't remember the last time doin that....Anyway, gotta get some sleep. Its bright and early for me tomorrow to wash my baby, and get up to school...Later peeps. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:61022 2004-09-06T18:34:06Z 2004-09-06T18:34:06Z Haha, I got school tomorrow, but too bad I don't have to be there until 1 in the afternoon, lmao....Thats great, then I get out at like 5:30. Then again on wednesday, then I don't have school until monday agin, its amazing...Anyway, I can't wait until tomorrow, but I am a little nervous though...It doesn't really matter....I feel so much better now, as if there was sooo much weight off my shoulders recently...Finally livin my life a little better, ya know? I Don't feel like I'm tied down anymore. I've been chillin with Joe, Mike, Angela, and Josephine a lot recently, but I like that little group, its mad cool....I'm gonna try and keep my job throughout my school year, cause I'd love to stay at that job. Good money too :) I made like 500 last week, in cash, aha....Later peeps<br /><br />You're so predictable ;) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:60687 2004-09-04T19:28:03Z 2004-09-04T19:28:03Z Atreyu - Shot Through the Heart Haha, and all is good that ends well....Me and Mike had a great talk just now about some personal shit, and I really think thats all I needed, ya know?....I'm about to go chill with Mike and Joe, 2 people I haven't chilled with together since like 2 months ago....Anyway, life is great, and I can't complain about anything right now.<br /><br /><br /><br />There is no fuckin destroying me, hah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:60457 2004-09-02T17:06:31Z 2004-09-02T17:06:31Z Atreyu - The Remembrance Ballad Aha, college is mad cool. I went up there this morning for the orientation, it was great.....Mad hot bitches everywhere, lol. I smoked a blunt on the way up there so I was twisted....The drama club did a skit and it was fuckin hilarious, it woke us up that early in the morning. They had a barbeque and shit, all the people are really nice, and we can smoke stoges on the campus. I was a little nervous this morning, but then it was fun. I saw a lot of people, CJ, Amit, Mike Galella, Steve Fitzsimmons, Laura, even fuckin Liz Beth that worked at Kid O' Robics, haha....It was pretty cool. Anyway, I'm out. Later people. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:60336 2004-09-01T17:24:14Z 2004-09-01T17:24:14Z This has really been a busy week for me. I didn't go to work this morning, I was gonna collapse. I didn't have any sleep, and monday and tuesday I worked my ass off. 15 hours on monday, and 12 on tuesday. How are you gonna work from 7:30 in the morning, to 10:30 at night? Its sick, but I'll be making mad money this check. It was real bad yesterday, towards the end of the day I had to work with Keith, but they call him the beast, lol....He was running to hand me the boxes so I could hand to the next person, screaming at all of us. Hes fuckin insane....Anyway, I don't have much time to chill this week with these hours, except at night. Last night I chilled with Mike, Angela, and Josephine, and for awhile Bobby was there. Then Bobby left, I dropped off Angela, and we chilled back at Mikes house for awhile. Dropped off Josephine, and passed out at like 12:30. Recently I haven't had any fuckin strength in my body, its all sore and tired....Me and Hanan might chill alittle later today, so thats cool. I really haven't seen her in awhile......Anyway, I'm out people.<br /><br />And I'd hate to say this.....But good luck... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:59962 2004-08-27T05:02:22Z 2004-08-27T05:02:22Z I gave Julie a call the other day to see whats been up with Hanan recently, but shes on vacation. Shes comming back this weekend, so I'm gonna give her a call one day. Its been awhile since we chilled, and I'm actually lookin foward to chillin with her. Maybe Jigga will pick me up a bottle of hypno, haha....Anyway, I can't fall asleep, I slept too long today....I gotta get to sleep, later.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:59896 2004-08-26T19:42:21Z 2004-08-26T19:42:21Z Papa Roach - Getting Away With Murder Damn, I just woke up, and its 3:30....I chilled with Alessio last night, and Bill and their friend Dominico, and we had a great talk about girls....I think I'm only out for myself now, and put all this shit behind me....Worry about my life now, and just do whatever it is I wanna do, ya know?....If she needs him, then I hope it all works out. I don't need another girl, men don't need girls. Need isn't the word, its more like want most of the time....Haha, you know who you are who taught me that, lol.....Anyway, College is in a week, its gonna be great, and weird. I really can't wait though.....So I'm gonna go people. See everyone later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:59587 2004-08-21T05:08:29Z 2004-08-21T05:08:29Z Silence So I guess me and Lauren are finally over. I think its best actually, that needed to stop....I'm single now, so whats good ladies? lol, it feels pretty good though. All I can say to them two, is good luck, and I hope he treats you better than I did....I gotta work tomorrow, so I should get some sleep....Later people urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:59341 2004-08-21T04:30:04Z 2004-08-21T04:30:04Z Silence The Death of Me<br /><br /><br />So now its over<br />So quick to find another<br />I'd feel at home<br />If you were here<br />Her face doesn't outline<br />My thoughts anymore<br />But this time<br />I'm dead inside<br /><br />All I ever wanted<br />Was some affection<br />I'd fuckin kill! For<br />Two seconds of attention<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />So you are, the death, of me<br />So shocked, to finally meet you<br />You've been, hinding patiently<br />Awaiting, for my fall, my end<br /><br /><br />I'd really love it<br />If you would hold me<br />It doesn't matter now<br />Your mind is made up<br />So here's my regret, that<br />I really fucked up<br />I'd take back<br />Everytime I hurt you<br />If I could<br />I hope you know I would<br /><br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />So you are, the death, of me<br />So shocked, to finally meet you<br />You've been, hinding patiently<br />Awaiting, for my fall, my end<br />And I love you to death<br />I hope you can see<br />You'll witness my last breathe<br />Cause your the death of me<br /><br /><br />Why did you hurt me?<br />I wanna fix this, I wanna fix it<br />I'm sorry for what I said<br />I really want to, fix this<br />But its so hard, cause<br />I'm not your top choice<br />So I'll scream and scream<br />Untill I lose my voice<br />And it hurts deep inside<br />That my fatal attempts of love<br />Were pushed aside<br />....So I died inside<br /><br /><br />I really needed your call that night<br />I needed your call baby<br />I really needed your call that night<br />Right as they, turned off, the light (fade)<br /><br /><br /><br />Goodnight babe urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:58942 2004-08-03T05:36:23Z 2004-08-03T05:36:23Z Atreyu My Place I Hide<br /><br /><br /><br />He did it to himself<br />Once again<br />So now that he falls<br />To the end<br />Her arms are wrapped<br />around someone else's neck<br />Her world collapses to him<br />Hes a wreck<br /><br />Cause this girl, is like<br />The last match, on a<br />Windy winter day<br />She'll light for a blink<br />But shes soon to run<br />Gone with no trace<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />Cause she said<br />"Give it some time, and<br />Maybe it'll be fine"<br />But shes not comming back<br />So beautiful and bright<br />Every night I fight<br />My insides<br />My place I hide<br /><br /><br />"Why are you so shady?" she says<br />Well maybe, just maybe<br />Its cause you played me<br />And faked me<br />I can't take this anymore<br />No more air, its unfair<br />What you did to me<br />I hope you bleed uncontrollably<br /><br />Have your glory<br />It won't phase me at all<br />Cause you'll be<br />The last to fall<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />Cause she said<br />"Give it some time, and<br />Maybe it'll be fine"<br />But shes not comming back<br />So beautiful and bright<br />Every night I fight<br />My insides<br />My place I hide<br /><br /><br />Early in the morning when she wakes<br />She does herself up real good<br />And adds the last to her gleaming eyes<br />A mask of lies<br />So watchout for her subliminal looks,<br />Artificial smiles, and angered thoughts<br />You'd better see through that disguise<br />Or you'll need a place to hide<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />Cause she said<br />"Fuck, you! <br />And forget about us!"<br />Shes not comming back<br />Such beauty and bright lights<br />The nights I fight<br />My insides<br />My place I hide<br /><br />So I hide (fade out) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:58652 2004-08-02T07:32:33Z 2004-08-02T07:32:33Z Silence Bleeding It Up<br /><br /><br />You couldn't begin to imagine<br />What I'd do for you, but<br />You've seem to neglect<br />What I've been through<br />Recently, I'm terribly,<br />Losing my mind<br />So sit back, relax,<br />And give me your time<br /><br />Not too long ago<br />You lit my world so bright<br />But the flame drained out<br />Its cold as night<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />I should've done this<br />A long time ago<br />Instead I closed my mind<br />Instead I missed the signs<br />I should've done this<br />A long time ago<br />But I just kept it up<br />So I just bled it up<br /><br /><br />Every little hit you made<br />Added to the rage you built, and<br />All the fucked up lies you played<br />Added to your fuckin guilt, so<br />Seriously, honestly<br />I'm pretty sure we're through<br />So sit back, relax<br />Watch me bleed this up<br /><br />You don't look at me, how you used to<br />You don't kiss me, the same way<br />I miss the old you everyday<br />I should've never gone away<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />I should've done this<br />A long time ago<br />Instead I closed my mind<br />Instead I missed the signs<br />I should've done this<br />A long time ago<br />But I just kept it up<br />So I just bled it up<br /><br /><br />Bridge: X4<br />Look at me now!<br />I'm bleeding it up<br />Motherfucker<br />I'm bleeding it all up<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />I should've done this<br />A long time ago<br />Instead I closed my mind<br />Instead I missed the signs<br />I should've done this<br />A long time ago<br />But I just kept it up<br />So I just bled it up<br />I should've done this<br />So long ago (so long ago)<br />I closed my mind<br />I missed the signs<br />I should've done this<br />So fuckin long ago (so long ago)<br />I just kept it up<br />I'm bleeding it up! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:58403 2004-06-07T03:04:54Z 2004-06-07T03:04:54Z Slipknot - The Nameless I've shattered myself, through my whole life<br />Cut off the only thing, that was right<br />But If I never saw you again<br />I'd die right next to you, in the end...<br /><br />So the more I'm with her, the more I feel like shit. I guess we got it settled out tonight though. We decided that we were never gonna work out again, and that we both wouldn't wanna do it again, so thats where that stands. I guess its cool to have her as a friend still though....Prom was great...I went to talk to D Money's manager yesterday, gotta call him again tomorrow to see what happened....Got a new phone, its mad cool...Thats about all I got to say.<br /><br /><br />If only you knew, that I'd give my heart to you,<br />But what you put me through, and what you do,<br />Makes me wanna scream till I'm fuckin blue.<br />I'll burn then drowned, not make a sound,<br />Won't be found, after a couple of 40's are down,<br />And you might miss me when I'm not around.<br /><br />The good thing that came from this situation<br />Is the state of mind that I'm now facing... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:58195 2004-05-25T01:31:52Z 2004-05-25T01:31:52Z Slipknot - Duality Sleepless Nights<br /><br /><br />And you know you got me<br />Right where you want me<br />But I see through your act<br />And I've had enough, cause<br />When your phone won't ring tonight<br />I won't care a bit<br />And when you start to cry<br />I won't give a shit<br /><br />Cause I'm sick, I'm done<br />I'm giving up on you<br />And I'm out, I'm through<br />This is what I'll put you to<br /><br />Chorus:<br />I can bring you<br />Sleepless nights<br />And I can give you<br />Restless fights<br />I will hold you to these<br />Gruesome sights, but<br />Nothing compared to what you<br />Did, to, me<br /><br />You don't care about anyone<br />But yourself<br />And unless you get attention<br />You make a scene<br />The drama gets to your head<br />Alittle too much<br />And all of this you get<br />Is what you deserve<br /><br />I'll try to keep calm, but<br />It's quite a touchy subject<br />But I really wanna show you<br />That I hope you die!<br /><br />Chorus: X2<br />I can bring you<br />Sleepless nights<br />And I can give you<br />Restless fights<br />I will hold you to these<br />Gruesome sights, but<br />Nothing compared to what you<br />Did, to, me<br /><br />Fuck! Fuck you bitch!<br />I hope he drinks too much and swirves<br />Pops a couple of curbs, kills birds<br />Hits the brakes, brings the car to shakes<br />Slides uncontrollably, hits a tree<br />I hope your seat belt isn't on!<br />I hope those air bags don't work!<br />The last thing you'll see is that tree<br />Or probably me, with a big smile to be<br />And you with a broken face<br />What a fuckin taste of disgrace, and<br />How does a windshield taste<br />When you paste your face on it<br />And all of this cause you fucked around<br />Hear the sound of your jaw on the ground?<br />Does this fuckin hit a nerve?<br />Cause this is what you deserve!<br /><br />Chorus: X2<br />I can bring you<br />Sleepless nights<br />And I can give you<br />Restless fights<br />I will hold you to these<br />Gruesome sights, but<br />Nothing compared to what you<br />Did, to, me<br /><br />Nothing compared to what<br />You fuckin did to me! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:58075 2004-05-24T02:25:38Z 2004-05-24T02:25:38Z Sick and Fuckin Tired! Leave me the fuck alone! You did enough, so get away from me......I wanna be by myself, away from everyone, alone.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:57625 2004-05-24T01:39:25Z 2004-05-24T01:39:25Z Mudvayne - A World So Cold Chilled...Got drunk twice yesterday, and once today. I wanna wake up drunk...<br /><br />Or not at all... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:57499 2004-05-19T01:10:49Z 2004-05-19T01:26:41Z Spineshank - Smothered Rage<br /><br /><br />The cold dark touches me<br />This one has my name on it<br />Visions of dry blood<br />Screams of blind hate<br />Everyone has sympathy, but<br />Nobody true<br />Words of empathy so heres mine:<br />Fuck you!<br /><br />Grasp the fact that I<br />Can't face truth<br />Condensed pain reverted<br />And chains break<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />Hate (hate)<br />Its gonna break<br />Too fuckin late<br />Can't wait to wake<br />Here it comes<br />Please don't run<br />Its fun, come on<br />Soon I'll be done<br />Pain (pain)<br />Rush to the brain<br />And this rain<br />Just pierces the sane<br />So lose control<br />Like I lost my soul<br />Kill you all then fall<br />Blood to the wall<br /><br /><br />Trust is just a known phase<br />Vulnerable to forgotten scars<br />But maybe the obvious<br />Are the ones that get you through<br />Cause it just takes one time<br />Restless breathes followed by<br />Opened eyes that shine a path<br />For your abandoned prints<br /><br />Have more of this, take it<br />Releasing you from this cage<br />It'll solve all your problems<br />Its called Rage...<br /><br /><br />Chorus:<br />Hate (hate)<br />Its gonna break<br />Too fuckin late<br />Can't wait to wake<br />Here it comes<br />Please don't run<br />Its fun, come on<br />Soon I'll be done<br />Pain (pain)<br />Rush to the brain<br />And this rain<br />Just pierces the sane<br />So lose control<br />Like I lost my soul<br />Kill you all then fall<br />Blood to the wall<br /><br /><br />One innocent bullet<br />An unthought of friend<br />A grip ever so tightly<br />Takes you to the end<br />A transparent heart<br />Unseen, and ignored<br />Don't fuckin scream when<br />All this blood gets poured<br /><br />Motherfucker<br />Have your fun<br />Cause heres my answer:<br />A trusted gun...<br /><br /><br />Chorus: X2<br />Hate (hate)<br />Its gonna break<br />Too fuckin late<br />Can't wait to wake<br />Here it comes<br />Please don't run<br />Its fun, come on<br />Soon I'll be done<br />Pain (pain)<br />Rush to the brain<br />And this rain<br />Just pierces the sane<br />So lose control<br />Like I lost my soul<br />Kill you all then fall<br />Blood to the wall<br /><br /><br />Pain! Hate!<br />Fear! Rage!<br />I hate you all!<br /><br /><br />Haha, maybe I should try harder more often, I like this one. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:57125 2004-05-19T00:14:42Z 2004-05-19T00:14:42Z Mudvayne - A World So Cold I've laughed alone, in a world so cold....I'm really sick of everyone, all fuckin people. I've really learned alot recently. I learned that everyone is fucked up, no matter how nice they usually are, everyone has to be fucked up....I really think its time for me to be a real asshole, cause thats what everyone else is, and I hate it. I'm sick of being nice to so many people who don't give a shit, or take it into any consideration....I wanna kill you all. I had enough, sick and tired, bring the sun or I'm gone....I need to drink. I think I'm gonna get a couple of 40's, maybe like 3 or 4 this weekend and just drowned myself in it. I think I'm gonna really get some alcohol poisoning this weekend, and I don't give a fuck. I need to find a darkened corner. I don't feel good about myself anymore, I hate myself. I need something to make me feel good, and theres nothing I have to make me feel like that....Isolation, thats my fuckin answer, cause thats what I need...Fuck everyone, forget about friends, girls, I just need to focus on school, and do some drugs or something.....Fuck it, and everyone else, don't give a fuck about anything....Got a gun, got the bullet, just tell me I don't have the fuckin balls....Ahh, I fuckin hate it! I swear I hate you all!<br /><br />I'm no pawn, no motherfuckin slave... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pandasfly:57069 2004-05-17T02:47:27Z 2004-05-17T02:47:27Z Spineshank - Smothered Come on, Angel....I love this song, I love it, ahhhh....Its awesome, it really is.....So, how do I feel right now? Hmm, pretty crappy I guess....Actually I really feel like shit. I feel like an asshole, I really do. I'm so stupid sometimes, and never do anything about it, but I can't let it go....Whatever, play this one out by ear? Probably....I want a tattoo, haha, but I don't know what to get, or where to get it....Steve let me look at some book for hookin up my RSX, its awesome. Theres so much I can do with my car, haha, its gonna be hot....Anyway, I gotta go in to talk to D Money's manager next time D Money goes in to work, so thats good. Hopefully I can get that job, so I can start putting money into my car....So if I'm not the one you really want, then why do you want me? It fuckin tears me up inside, I wanna kill someone sometimes. I don't know what to do anymore, everyday just gets worse, ahhhhh.....Fuck it.....<br /><br /><br />"Never had a voice to protest....So you fed me shit to digest..."